Monday, September 28, 2020

Steve: Part 4- Steve's Rule for Poisonous Snake I.D.

Have you ever wondered how to identify a poisonous snake? If so this story is for you. I have been abiding by this rule ever since Steve articulated it to us. It's invaluable, and will never let you down.
So, pretty much my whole family was gathered in the milk house bottling milk. It's a job that has lots of smaller jobs mixed in, and takes forever if you try to do it alone. Getting all hands on deck is the best strategy. We were all going about our tasks, and having a lively random discussion as we went. At some point, the conversation turned to snakes. We talked about different kinds of snakes, how to identify them, and then shortly moved on. A couple minutes after this conversation ended, Steve walked in. He was following his daily routine and came in to get discarded milk to feed the calves. My mom, knowing of Steve's old-time country wisdom, suggested we ask Steve how to identify a poisonous snake. We agreed because we had not come up with a foolproof way ourselves. We were all legitimately interested to see if any older members of Steve's family left him with some age-old wisdom that we desperately needed to know. So mom asked. Steve, how can you tell a poisonous snake from a non-poisonous one? Steve looked at us like, what's wrong with you silly people? "That's easy." Steve Said. Then he followed with the exact words I think about every time I see a snake.
"You see," Steve said
"If it got a square head, then it probably is."
"If it got a round head, then it might be."
That's the rule I have lived by since that day. And like most quirky, hilarious Steve Stories. In the end, he's pretty much correct.